


if i could press your hand

by alittleunstable



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Drabble, Gen, Geralt is definitely more in love with Jaskier than he thinks lol, Hurt Jaskier, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Soft Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, geralt expressing all of his feelings as rage lmao, geralt trying to figure out what the fuck feelings are, not between Geralt and Jaskier though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:08:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22489171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittleunstable/pseuds/alittleunstable
Summary: Jaskier blanches. “Excuse me?” He gasps, a hand over his heart. “How hurtful, dear Witcher. Here I thought we were catching up.”Geralt rolls his eyes and grabs Jaskier’s wrist, raising it so it’s between them. “Explain.”...Geralt just wants to help his bard. That’s all it is. Really. Nothing gay about it.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 17
Kudos: 884





	if i could press your hand

It’s the first time he’s seen Jaskier in a little over seven months - the longest they’ve parted, Geralt muses to himself as he approaches his bard from behind, reaching out to land a hand on his shoulder. Jaskier lurches forward as if the touch scalds him, twists in his chair so fast he looks like he might fall from his stool. 

Strange, Geralt thinks, but strange is Jaskier. He’s never shown an aversion to Geralt’s touch before, let alone touch in general, he’s always been the tactile sort. Infuriatingly so. 

Jaskier’s wild eyes settle on him and he slumps, tension leaving his body almost immediately. 

“Geralt!” He beams, though there’s something off about it, something cracked and not quite true. Geralt frowns. 

“Jaskier.” He acknowledges, and moves to settle in the stool to his left. His gaze wanders, examining Jaskier carefully and quickly taking note of the purpling rings around his wrists, the darkened splotch on his collarbone, the harsh blue circles under his eyes. Yes, there’s something wrong. Geralt is positive of it, and he’s surprising himself by how curious (definitely not worried) he feels.

“What brings you here? A hunt?” Jaskier asks, his heart obviously not in it. If Geralt listens for it, he can hear Jaskier’s heart racing at a pace far too quickly for anybody close to calm. 

“I heard you were here. I thought I’d come see what trouble you’ve gotten into this time.” He gets the reaction he’s expecting, a full body flinch and Jaskier’s expression shuttering.

“No trouble here,” Jaskier blatantly fucking lies. Geralt reigns in the irritation, Jaskier never lies to him. It’s the base of their relationship, if nothing else. 

“Fuck off,” Geralt says anyway, cursing himself. He’s not made for this, for easing into subjects and being patient. 

Jaskier blanches. “Excuse me?” He gasps, a hand over his heart. “How hurtful, dear Witcher. Here I thought we were catching up.” 

Geralt rolls his eyes and grabs Jaskier’s wrist, raising it so it’s between them. “Explain.” 

Jaskier shakes his head and tries to tug his hand back, only for Geralt’s grip to tighten and a wince to ripple across his features.

“I’m sorry!” Jaskier pleads, and, what? Jaskier doesn’t apologise for shit. Jaskier’s an annoying little prick, and he owns it. This is just disorienting, Jaskier not acting like Jaskier. “Please, I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” Geralt snaps despite himself, still refusing to loosen his grip. “Why the fuck are you sorry?” 

“I...I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry, if you could just tell me I can fix it-“

Geralt glowers and releases his hold. “What happened to you?” 

Jaskier moves to stand up and Geralt shoves him back into his seat, trying to ignore the way Jaskier flinches at the rough treatment but accepts it, sitting quietly with his hands in his lap. 

“Jaskier. Talk, you know how.” He hopes sneaking a taunt in there will help but if anything, Jaskier looks distressed.

“Too much, I know.” He says, flat. “Did you need anything or can I go?” 

Geralt growls. “Dammit, Jaskier, I need you to be honest. What. Happened?” 

Jaskier swallows and looks over Geralt’s shoulder, as if searching for a rogue monster that’s out to get him. 

“We can’t talk here. If he finds out I’ve seen you- he’ll be so angry.” Jaskier finally speaks, soft and quiet, and that’s when Geralt’s rage transforms into intense concern. This isn’t Jaskier’s normal brand of trouble, something rotten is going on here.

“Follow me then.” Geralt huffs out a harsh breath.

“I can’t.” Jaskier whispers, pleadingly, eyes imploring. “You have to drag me out, make it look like I don’t want to go. Everyone here knows him, they’ll tell him what I’ve done, you have to- you have to-“ 

Geralt doesn’t need him to finish, grabbing Jaskier by the nape and physically dragging him out the tavern door. He doesn’t stop until they’re in the outskirts of town, where he has Roach settled since he’d planned on making a hasty exit with his bard. Nothing’s changed though, in Geralt’s mind. 

“Talk.” Geralt says roughly, letting Jaskier go far gentler than he might’ve any other day. 

Jaskier chews his lip and then sighs. “You won’t understand, you’ll think I’m weak. And I am!” He lets out a horribly distorted bark of laughter, so twisted it squeezes Geralt’s gut. “I’m weak, Geralt!” He’s still laughing, a touch hysterical, and Geralt feels his heart pounding in his chest. 

“No,” Geralt says as softly as he can, though it still comes out gruff and harsh. Fuck. “You’re not weak. Tell me.” 

Jaskier wipes at his eyes and when had he started crying? How had Geralt not noticed?

“I’m a fool, Geralt.” Jaskier says after he calms himself enough. “I thought he loved me, and I wanted it so much. I didn’t think anyone could love me, but he did- I thought he did,” He amends, resigned, defeated in a way Geralt hasn’t seen since that day on the mountain. 

“What did he do to you?” Geralt asks when he can’t stand the silence any longer, and Jaskier jerks up as if he’d forgotten they were talking. Damn it, whoever this is has done a number on him. 

“At first it was lovely. He brought me flowers, he serenaded me , quite poorly I’ll admit but it’s the thought that counts, courted me, a complete gentleman. But things started happening once I accepted. He gets into these-these rages, and you know who I am. You know how I anger people easily. I don’t mean to, I swear it, but I can’t stop. One day I went too far. He hit me.” 

Geralt can’t stop the snarl that leaves his lips, and Jaskier sighs.

“I know. It’s nothing. I deserved it. And every hit after that, too. I’ve tried to be better. But no matter what I do, it’s wrong. Honestly I’m rather surprised you only ever hit me the once.” At this, Jaskier chuckles, dry and self deprecating and Geralt had forgotten about that, it had never seemed important to him, but now...the memory has changed, become darker, more sinister. 

“No.” Geralt says sharply, “no, I should never have even hit you the once. You...” Geralt groans, he doesn’t do emotions, he doesn’t know how to comfort, all he knows is Jaskier’s perception is warped, Jaskier is...he’s pure light. He’s happiness embodied. He’s...He’s the only person Geralt has ever felt love for. 

Jaskier shakes his head. “Your pity isnt necessary, Geralt. I know what I am.”

“No,” Geralt repeats, for what feels like the millionth time. “He’ll regret laying a hand on you, Jaskier. You never deserved such treatment. You’re a good man. You’re...” he swallows his pride, “You’re my best friend. Every moment spent with you is a moment I feel better.” Because he can’t say happy, he doesn’t even know what happy is, really, but the closest he’ll ever get is being with Jaskier. Even if it’s not as close to him as he may like. Jaskier turned his life upside down and he never wants it to reset. 

Jaskier stares at him, eyes wide with shock. “But...but we’re not friends. You say it all the time.” 

“I lie.” Geralt admits, glaring intensely at Roach’s saddle. “I shouldn’t, but I do. People close to me die. I didn’t want....I shouldn’t have left you. Come with me, Jaskier. Let’s leave this shithole.” 

Jaskier brushes tears from his eyes and nods vigorously. “Yes, yes, i want that, I want to stay with you. For as long as you’ll have me.” 

“Forever, then.” Geralt tries to say nonchalantly, but Jaskier’s glowing smile makes his lips quirk with pleasure. “But first, your lover. Where can I find him?” 

Jaskier looks uncertain for a moment. “Why?” 

Geralt raises a single eyebrow.

“Oh! No, you can’t do that, it isn’t his fault, just because you like me more than I thought doesn’t mean I’m not unbearable to most people-“

“Jaskier. What he did was unforgivable. You’re precious. He didn’t understand that, and I won’t allow him to breathe while you live with this hurt. Tell me where he is.” 

Jaskier pushes himself forward and all of a sudden Geralt finds himself caught in the tightest of embraces, tears setting into his leather wares. “Thank you. I wished you would come. I never thought you’d...but you came. You’re my best friend too.” He snuggles as close as he can to Geralt’s body and to Geralt’s own surprise, his chest feels warm and hazy and he’s wrapping his own arms around his bard, fingers threading into dark hair gently, so gently. The strands are soft and delicate, so like Jaskier. He buries his nose in that soft hair, breathing in his familiar scent almost desperately. 

“I’m never leaving you alone again. You have the ability to find trouble wherever you go.” Geralt grumbles, but his heart isn’t in it, his heart is practically beating it’s way into Jaskier’s chest against his own. “Now tell me. Where. Is. He?” 

“He’s the blacksmith. His name is Tefir.” 

“Wait with Roach. This won’t take long.” With that said, he pushes his...friend, closer to his mare and holds him in place. “Don’t move unless someone attacks. Then get on roach and let her take you somewhere safe. I’ll catch up.” 

“Alright,” Jaskier agrees, that smile still on his face, and finally, finally, Geralt can’t help but return it. 

“See you soon, Jaskier.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I’m new here but anyway this is my first geraskier fanfic though I am in the process of writing a probably multi chapter hogwarts AU   
> I’m fuckregina on tumblr if you wanna come say hi :) hope you liked ittttt


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